


If You're Homesick, Give Me Your Hand and I'll Hold It

by dametokillfor



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-13
Updated: 2012-05-13
Packaged: 2017-11-05 06:30:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/403408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dametokillfor/pseuds/dametokillfor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the glorious <a href="http://foxxcub.livejournal.com/764068.html">Avengers Kissing Meme</a>.</p><p>Post movie. Dripping in spoilers. </p><p>Steve and Phil are completely different people, yet at the same time they're so very alike. Clint doesn't quite know how he's supposed to deal with that, but he's pretty certain this isn't the right way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You're Homesick, Give Me Your Hand and I'll Hold It

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Birdy's People Help The People. 
> 
> Written for the glorious [Avengers Kissing Meme](http://foxxcub.livejournal.com/764068.html). It's been cleaned up and tweaked a little from the original 3AM incarnation.
> 
> SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE.

Really, they're nothing alike. Clint knows this.

Steve's the handsome blonde haired, blue eyed man mountain with the heart of gold. Coulson was the small, unassuming G-man with the sharp tongue. To the civilian eye, they're chalk and cheese.

To Clint's eyes though, they could almost be the same man.

The physical differences are vast, but it's the little things. The way Steve holds himself, arms across his chest when he's listening intently or delivering something that fills him with pride. The way Steve never wastes words, speaks when he needs to but is happy with quietly idling by. The old fashioned charm he has about him.

He and Coulson are more similar than Clint thinks either of them ever knew.

But then, it's also entirely possible that Clint is going _completely insane with grief_ and is just projecting his feelings for his late handler onto said handler's childhood hero. (Coulson had denied ever having a crush on Cap, had withheld sex from Clint for a whole _24 hours_ when he'd dressed up in the costume for him after he'd first stumbled on the trading card collection). 

Yes. Clint is pretty certain insanity is more likely. 

But it doesn't stop his sharp eyes from lingering on the curve of Steve's mouth as he smiles at an old Mickey Mouse cartoon that's playing on the oversized TV in the lounge of the Stark Tower, _the Avengers Tower_. It doesn't stop him from feeling his heart speed up when Steve turns to look at him, or from his mouth going dry and a witty quip dying on his tongue. 

"Are you okay, Clint?" Steve asks and _fuck_ , couldn't he just call him out on being creepy or anything that wasn't so _nice_? 

Clint looks away from the plush pink lips - and oh God, they're so different from Phil's - and looks him straight in the face and how is he supposed to lie to Steve?

"I miss him." He says, before he even realises it. 

He wants to say so much more, _and you're here and you remind me of him so damn much and if he knew what I was thinking he'd actually kill me and I don't want to feel like this because I'm betraying him and I'll only hurt you and really you need to say something or I need to say something before I..._

And Clint can't finish his train of thought because Steve's _right there_ and his hands are at Steve's face, drawing him to him and his lips are on Steve's and this is a no good, awful, _awful_ idea. 

But Steve is kissing him back.

It's soft and tentative and inexperienced and so different from what he has - _had_ \- with Phil, but he doesn't want to stop. He wants to draw Steve closer, deepen the kiss, lose himself completely to the other man, if only for a few moments. But Steve is pulling back and Clint tries to follow but there are hands on his face, thumbs wiping away tears he didn't realize had fallen. 

"I know." Steve says simply, the ghost of a smile on his face.

He presses another soft, sweet kiss to Clint's lips and his eyes are closed and there's no way this is an empty sentiment. Steve truly knows how he's feeling, has lost someone like Clint in the same way Clint has lost someone like Steve. 

" _I know._ "

**Author's Note:**

> Blame this on the projector breaking right after _the bad thing_ the last time I saw the film, so I was full of all the pain with none of the pretty resolution. 
> 
> I promise that my next fic in this fandom will not involve me torturing Clint. Much.
> 
> I'll at least try, but I come from the Whedon school of writing, causing pain is how I show my love.


End file.
